Great Start Georgia is a statewide effort, sponsored by the Georgia Department of Public Health and supported by your community. Great Start Georgia wants to be sure every child in our state gets a “great start” in life.
Great Start Georgia is designed to create a community culture of care, encouragement, and support for all families before and after the birth of a child. Across hundreds of Georgia communities, services are available to ensure that these important early years are rich with opportunities for children to be educated, safe, and healthy. A free Information & Referral Center offers connections to relevant local resources and information.
Great Start Georgia is all about helping parents expecting a baby or families with young children learn about all the services in their community that they can turn to when needed. Everything from how to find a doctor or quality child care, to learning about your child’s growth and development. There is also help for parents with more serious concerns like depression, safe and secure housing, and other baby care needs.
By now we all know how important these early years are. We know that the experiences a child has prior to entering kindergarten affect how the brain develops and lay the foundation for success in school and life. Our goal is to help you be the best parent you can be and make you aware of what is available in your community so you can decide what is best for you and your family.
We’re glad you stopped by to learn more about Great Start Georgia. We hope you’ll come back often as we try to keep up with all that is going on across the state to support Georgia’s children. The early years really do last a lifetime. Let’s work together to make them the best they can be!
Babysitting Services
Are you in need of a night out? A date night? Or just a break from the kiddos? Well, we have just the solution! Our babysitting services in Delhi and babysitting services Noida are in top-notch and guarantee that your children are well taken care of. So go ahead and book that reservation, take that dance class, or see that movie you’ve wanted to see. We’ve got this!
Introduction to Babysitting ServicesBabysitting services in Gurgaon also provide care for children during periods when their parents are unavailable. Services may be provided in the family home, a day-care centre, or the babysitter’s home.
Babysitters in Delhi may be hired regularly, such as during the workweek when both parents are employed outside the home or on an as-needed basis, such as for date nights or special occasions. Some families use babysitting services to care for their children while traveling temporarily.
Baby caretaker services in Delhi may be certified in CPR and first aid, and some states require them to have a background check on file. When hiring a babysitter, ask about their qualifications and experience.
What are the Benefits of Using Babysitting Services?
There are many benefits of using babysitting services:
It can give you peace of mind knowing that your child is cared for by a responsible and trustworthy individual.
It can give you more free time to do things you enjoy or need to do without worrying about your child.
It can provide your child with social interaction and stimulating activities.
It can be a cost-effective way to care for your child when you cannot be there yourself.
When you think about it, a babysitter has the most important job: taking care of your children. Why then would you choose one without first interviewing her and checking her references? When you hire a babysitter, you’re the employer and the babysitter is your employee. By following a process of interviewing and checking references, you’ll feel more confident that you’ve hired the right person.
Many employee searches begin with a phone interview. You should do the same. Start the interview by letting the potential babysitter know the number and age of your children, your address, any special issues, transportation, and “pet peeves” or restrictions. Go over your expectations and stress that your first priority is to keep your child safe and happily entertained.
Then, you’ll want to ask the babysitter a few crucial questions:
What is your age and babysitting experience with children the same age as my children? (Tip: Sitters shouldn’t babysit for infants less than six months of age until they’ve had at least two years of experience.)
Do you have training in the rescue of a choking infant and children?
What is your usual fee? (Tip: Negotiate a fair fee prior to the job.)
What if….? (Tip: Present a few scenarios to determine how the babysitter would handle them. For example, for a toddler, you might ask about handling a child who cries when parents leave.)
If the phone interview goes well, and if your schedule allows, arrange a pre-job personal interview to check out your “gut response” to the babysitter. If you feel you’ve found the right babysitter, the next step is to check references. Do not hire a babysitter if you cannot check their references!
When you hire a babysitter, you are hiring a person you are willing to trust with the responsibility for your child’s life. Make sure you select a trustworthy, responsible babysitter to watch and take care of your child.
This article was written by Oby Bridget Azubuike and Bisayo Aina from The Education Partnership Centre, Lagos. For more information on the survey and full report please visit www.tepcentre.com“I Can’t Support My Child’s Learning Because I Am Not A Teacher.”
Following the outbreak of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic across the world, many nations experienced a shutdown of their economies which affected different sectors and industries on a global pedestal. The Nigerian education sector was not exempted from this. Schools were closed and remote teaching and learning began for many children. Virtual learning interventions and solutions were rolled out, pioneered by both private and public stakeholders in the education sector to support the continuation of learning and prevent a learning slide. Parents were faced with the new challenge of being both parents and teachers at the same time.
Between April and May 2020, The Education Partnership (TEP) Centre, through an online survey, set out to understand how parents and students were adapting to this new reality of remote schooling. The main aim of the survey was to identify and map education interventions that were being implemented in Nigeria during the COVID-19 pandemic and how the recipients of these interventions were fairing. Parents were considered an integral part of this survey due to their direct contact with learners. Their role as guardians and providers for learners under their care, positions them to share insights on the adaptation of learning. Our survey captured responses from 626 parents across 30 states in Nigeria. The average age of the parents in our sample is 40 years. 83% of the parents in our sample have attained post-secondary education. We use the data from this online survey to shed light on how parents are supporting their children’s learning during the COVID-19 pandemic in Nigeria.
The Role of Parents in Education
Parents have been known to be a child’s first teacher from the moment a child is born and as they mature into adults, the traditional role of parents involve teaching, guiding, and raising children to become strong standing members of their communities. As children begin formal schooling, most parents allow the school to take on a major part of their formal education. Where formal education is concerned, parents are more of providers. Ensuring that children have the needed provision and support to access education and learning, except in cases where parents have taken the full responsibility of home-schooling their children (Benjamin, 1993; Ceka & Murati, 2016; Emerson et al., 2012). Since the pandemic started, parents are now taking on a more support-oriented role by supporting their children as they take on assignments and home projects.
According to Hoover-Dempsey et al (2005), the factors that influence a parent’s ability to actively contribute to a child’s education are influenced by four constructs:
the parental role construction which is shaped by the beliefs, perception and experiences of the parent;
the invitation of parents by the teachers and schools to be active participants in the education of their children;
the socioeconomic status of the parent which influences the skill, knowledge, energy and time availability of the parent;
and the self-efficacy and confidence derived by the parent from being an active participant.
Research has shown that parental involvement in their child’s education improves their educational achievements from early childhood; it causes them to stay longer in school and encourages an overall positive development in the child (Mapp and Handerson, 2002).
Parents Supporting Children’s Learning during the COVID-19 Pandemic in Nigeria
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and the subsequent closure of schools, it became apparent that parents had to assume the full-time role of educating their children and support their learning virtually. In our online survey, we asked whether parents were helping their children learn during the pandemic and only 83% of the parents in our survey affirmed that they were actively helping their children learn during the pandemic. When we asked parents not supporting their children why that was the case, the majority reported that they did not know how to because they were not teachers. Other reasons cited were that parents were too busy at the time or could not afford the cost of supporting their child’s learning.
We went further to analyse the data by educational background of parents. We found that parents who said they did not know how to support their children’s learning remotely were more likely to be parents who had attained secondary education or lower. The parents who reported being too busy to support their children’s remote learning during the pandemic were more likely to be parents with post-secondary education. The differences between these two groups were also statistically significant. These findings provide evidence not just that some children may have been missing out on learning during the pandemic but that the reason for their exclusion from learning varies along the lines of their parents’ education.
For parents whose children have been actively learning, we asked how they were supporting their children’s learning during the pandemic and 67% reported that they both encourage them to read books and participate in online classes. 46% reported that they read with them, and 19% of the respondents got someone else to teach their children.
Figure 1: The Different Ways Parents are Supporting their Children’s Learning
Majority of the parents in our survey are supporting their children’s learning through various means, as reported in Figure 1 above. However, this has not been without its own challenges and drawbacks. Parents with younger children are more likely to be involved in teaching them, while older children are more likely to pursue independent learning. Overall, parents reported that their children were adopting virtual learning platforms that ranged from low-tech platforms, such as radio and television, to high-tech platforms such as online classes and virtual conferencing.
Figure 2: Remote Learning Solutions Explored by Nigerian Children during the Pandemic
Parents reported that they explored different learning solutions for their children, both traditional and modern methods as well as tools. We asked parents to rate the effectiveness of the learning platforms their children were adopting during the pandemic, their ratings ranged from “very poor” to “very good”. Parents reported that the virtual learning platforms were challenging because of the high cost of internet data and for parents who reported that their children were using radio and television learning programmes, the major challenge was with electricity supply and the lack of feedback and personalisation of the learning content. Parents that gave positive ratings to the learning platforms cited the development of digital skills and continuing academic engagement for their children.
Our findings reveal that one of the main challenges faced by parents in teaching their children remotely is the lack of financial resources to adequately provide remote learning tools. The high costs of internet data, alternative power supply and internet-enabled devices were cited as some of the barriers to learning remotely. One parent in particular, reported that virtual learning was not effective for her child and when we asked why, her response was:
There’s no money to keep buying airtime; and for the television programmes, there is no power supply.
This is an indication that socio-economic status is a major factor affecting how children are learning remotely during the pandemic. Another parent reported the reason for rating the effectiveness of virtual learning as poor was because:
The system is alien to them, and they are easily distracted at home. Network, power and non-availability of laptops for the classes…
Where parents are able to provide the tools and the enabling environment for their children to learn, then learning can happen seamlessly, but this is not the case for all parents. We asked parents what their children needed to aid remote learning, 55% said their children needed laptops, 47% reported internet access, 32% and 28% cited internet-enabled devices; phones and tablets respectively.
Figure 3: Requirements for Remote Learning (Parents)
Only 18% of the parents said their children had all they needed to continue learning remotely. The parents who said their children needed nothing to learn remotely, were also more likely to give their current remote learning platform a “good” or “very good” rating on the effectiveness of the remote learning platform their children were utilising. One parent with a master’s degree and with children attending private schools reported that her children’s school taught them remotely through Google Classrooms and Edmodo.
The older kids are very engaged and relished the opportunity to connect with their teachers and classmates. The assignments were easily accessed and completed and were graded immediately. They watched videos and answered questions. The only downsides were the amount of data used and the sometimes dodgy connection quality.
Other parents within the survey who gave positive ratings on the effectiveness of the remote learning platforms cited their children’s prior exposure to such platforms ensured a smooth transition for them during the pandemic, which implies that the tools for remote learning were previously accessible to their children.
In Summary
The implications of our findings point to unequal access to education for children. The inequality of access to education, although not a new phenomenon, is likely to be further exacerbated as schools remain closed. Our findings have pointed to challenges parents are facing in their ability to assume responsibility as teachers for their children. Their knowledge, educational background and socioeconomic status all play a role in whether their children learn remotely and to what extent they can adapt to virtual learning. Unequal access to remote learning opportunities will result in inequality of educational outcomes of children. Where children with wealthier parents may have more advantages than their counterparts in poorer households with less educated parents or parents who are too busy. We asked parents what the government could do to support them during the pandemic, and their requests broadly covered palliative measures to help them support their children’s learning as schools remain closed. Specific requests for financial support, stable electricity supply and internet access were highlighted. Requests for pedagogical support for children and other interventions to ensure children continue to learn remotely were also highlighted.
There is a need for education stakeholders to ensure learning for all children in Nigeria and that no child is left behind, targeted support may be required for different groups of children, from financial to infrastructural to alternative remote learning options. More research is needed to assess how much learning has taken place during the period of the pandemic and where there are gaps, remedial programmes will need to be implemented. These measures are important to ensure that the disadvantages faced by children unable to learn effectively during the COVID-19 pandemic are not carried on to the rest of their education and life outcomes.
References
Benjamin, L. (1993). Parents’ Literacy and Their Children’s Success in School: Recent Research, Promising Practices, and Research Implications. Education Research Report.
Ceka, A., & Murati, R. (2016). The Role of Parents in the Education of Children. Journal of Education and Practice, 7(5), 61-64.
Emerson, L., Fear, J., Fox, S., & Sanders, E. (2012). Parental engagement in learning and schooling: Lessons from research. A report by the Australian Research Alliance for Children and Youth (ARACY) for the Family–School and Community Partnerships Bureau: Canberra.
Henderson, A. T., & Mapp, K. L. (2002). A New Wave of Evidence: The Impact of School, Family, and Community Connections on Student Achievement. Annual Synthesis, 2002.
Hoover-Dempsey, K. V., Walker, J. M., Sandler, H. M., Whetsel, D., Green, C. L., Wilkins, A. S., & Closson, K. (2005). Why do parents become involved? Research findings and implications. The elementary school journal, 106(2), 105-130.
Car seat, check.
Newborn diapers, check.
Tons of onesies, check.
Parenting skills handbook… wait, what?
Were you missing the parenting skills section on your postpartum after-care instructions? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. While it would be nice to bring your newborn home with a “how-to” manual, part of this parenting process is to learn by doing (and sometimes failing).
But what if, instead of stumbling along the way, you had a map (like a checklist of essential parenting skills) that guided you in the right direction?
What are the most essential parenting skills?
It should come as no surprise that some parenting techniques produce better outcomes than others. In general, all parents want their children to be happy and healthy, but our own goals and circumstances can also influence where we place the most value when it comes to our parenting skills.
In an attempt to figure out which parenting skills were most important, Robert Epstein, a senior research psychologist at the American Institute for Behavioral Research and Technology, looked at data from 2,000 parents (who took an online test of parenting skills) to determine which parenting practices encouraged by experts most often lead to happy, healthy, and successful children.
Based on the results, Epstein and his team discovered 10 competencies that predict good parenting outcomes. In order of importance, here are the 10 parenting skills or Parents’ Ten, according to Epstein and team.
1. Love and affection
Showing love is the number one competency that predicts good parenting outcomes. This includes showing unconditional love, support, and acceptance. It also stresses the importance of spending one-on-one time with your child.
2. Stress management
Not only is it important for you to manage your own stress, it’s also critical to teach your child stress management and relaxation techniques.
3. Relationship skills
Success in this area means you model and maintain healthy relationship skills with other people (spouse, significant other, co-parent, co-workers, family, etc).
4. Autonomy and independence
When parents foster autonomy and independence, it tells their children that they respect and believe in their abilities.
5. Education and learning
Teaching children to be lifelong learners begins at home. This includes valuing education, modeling learning, and providing enrichment opportunities for your child.
6. Life skills
Providing for your child’s needs and planning for the future falls into this category. This includes showing your child how to positively view obstacles and challenges, which helps them develop resilience and perseverance.
7. Behavior management
Parents who use positive discipline rely on positive reinforcement and deliver consequences (not punishment) in a kind and firm manner, helping a child feel connected, capable, and a sense of belonging.
This also minimizes or eliminates yelling, and harsh verbal discipline, which one 2014 studyTrusted Source found is damaging to developing adolescents.
8. Health
You model healthy lifestyle choices that include exercise and good nutrition choices for your family.
9. Religion
You support spiritual and/or religious development.
10. Safety
You help to ensure your child is safe. This includes setting boundaries and being aware of their activities and friends. And it’s also tactical things — everything from babproofing your home and enforcing wearing helmets while bike riding to teaching them how to cross the street smartly and what sexual consent means.
There is no one right way to be a good parent, although there are many proven ways to be a flawed one, such as abuse, neglect, or overindulgence. A key challenge is resisting the urge to manage, guide, or control kids at all times, but research suggests that parents who give their children room to explore, grow, and, importantly, fail, may be serving them better. No parent should allow kids to put their health or safety at risk, or to allow core house rules to be flouted, especially when it comes to daily home and school responsibilities. But beyond that, building a home life that provides caring, consistency, choices, and consequences should go a long way toward a child’s social, emotional, and intellectual development—which should also lead to a stronger parent-child bond and happier child-raising years for everyone involved.
A paradox of parenting is that kids typically need less from their mothers and fathers than the adults realize. What they need, though, is essential: Love, emotional security, conversation, validation, responsibilities, time outside, and opportunities to play and learn. Parents who can focus their attention on these baseline goals and avoid getting caught up in the minutiae of measuring minutes on screens or dictating which shirt gets worn to preschool, will find that they and their children will enjoy each other more, and that their kids will more quickly become comfortable with their own selves.
How can parents bond with their children?
Daily routines, and regular rituals, can be a powerful way to bond with children and help them feel emotionally secure. Time spent each day reading together, listening to music, going outside, performing a simple chore, and especially a positive interaction to start the day and open time at bedtime to review the day and say goodnight, research finds, helps kids establish a stable, positive emotional outlook.
Why is conversation so important for children?
Research on the casual chitchat also known as banter has found that it is essential for children’s emotional development, and for their vocabulary. Informal talks with parents expand kids’ knowledge and skills, and has positive emotional and social effects that last into adulthood. Weekend plans, neighborhood news, funny memories, seasonal changes, to-do lists, dream recollections, and things that excite you are all valid topics for banter during quiet portions of the day.
Avoiding Pitfalls
It’s impossible for a parent to be perfect. Fortunately, it’s not that hard to be the right parent for your own child. Listening, being supportive, encouraging activity and creativity, and establishing a secure family structure all go a long way toward providing the kind of childhood that help kids thrive. Unfortunately, even in the pursuit of these goals, parents can go too far by overscheduling kids, micromanaging them, refusing to recognize learning or emotional struggles for what they are, modeling unhealthy responses to stress, violating boundaries, or criticizing kids or comparing them to others—even siblings—out of frustration.
Can a parent ever be perfect?
In a word, no, and no child can be perfect, either. But parents who believe perfection is attainable, in themselves or their kids, often struggle to take any joy in their role, or to provide joy to their children. It’s easy for a parent to become self-critical and beat themselves up over opportunities they didn’t offer their kids, or for not pushing them hard enough. But an intense, overscheduled childhood may not be the right one for your child. Being a “good enough” parent, many experts suggest, is sufficient to raise children who are decent and loving, confident enough to pursue their interests, and able to fail.
Is parenting primarily about being in control?
It shouldn’t be. Many parents believe they should control children at all times, directing them to fit their own vision of what type of person they should become. Such parents may be shocked and angered when children resist such pushing, leading to power struggles and potentially years of conflict. Parents who instead focus on baseline expectations and standards for responsibility and routines, and stick to them, while working to understand their children’s temperament and emotional needs, can form a connection with their kids and work with them to discover and pursue their own interests.
Providing Emotional Support
When a parent is anxious or worried, a child may become anxious as well. Parents who talk about adult worries with kids, fail to model or teach coping skills, or who are unreliable or fail to keep promises, can drive anxiety in their sons and daughters. But parents who swoop in to eliminate any source of anxiety, by, for example, taking over difficult tasks, can also inadvertently raise kids who may struggle to cope with challenges or stress. Parents who make time to listen, take children’s concerns seriously, provide consistent support, step back and let kids solve problems on their own (or not), and allow ample free time for play, can help children thrive.
For more, see Children and Anxiety
How can you help an anxious child calm down?
Children may feel anxious in a variety of situations—at the doctor’s office, at a birthday party, before a test, or in a storm—and look to parents for help. Unfortunately, simply telling them to “calm down” likely will not work. But encouraging them to calm themselves by taking slow, deep breaths, chewing gum or singing, talking openly about their worries and naming them, or finding humor in the situation can help them get through it and be better prepared to handle future stressors.
How can parents keep calm when their children are not?
When kids are feeling stress, parents can easily become anxious as well, but mothers and fathers should aim to avoid displaying it, or “mood matching,” which may only amplify a child’s stress. Keeping calm and grounded, perhaps through the application of mindfulness techniques, can help parents remain a source of support even in difficult moments.
1. What you do matters. “This is one of the most important principles,” Steinberg tells WebMD. “What you do makes a difference. Your kids are watching you. Don’t just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, ‘What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?'”
2. You cannot be too loving. “It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love,” he writes. “What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love — things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions.”
3. Be involved in your child’s life. “Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically.”
Being involved does not mean doing a child’s homework — or reading it over or correcting it. “Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not,” Steinberg tells WebMD. “If you do the homework, you’re not letting the teacher know what the child is learning.”
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace with your child’s development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child’s behavior.
“The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say ‘no’ all the time is what’s motivating him to be toilet trained,” writes Steinberg. “The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table.”
For example: An eighth grader is easily distracted, irritable. Their grades in school are suffering. They are argumentative. Should parents push them more, or should they be understanding so their self-esteem doesn’t suffer?
“With a 13-year-old, the problem could be a number of things,” Steinberg says. “He may be depressed. He could be getting too little sleep. Is he staying up too late? It could be he simply needs some help in structuring time to allow time for studying. He may have a learning problem. Pushing him to do better is not the answer. The problem needs to be diagnosed by a professional.”
5. Establish and set rules. “If you don’t manage your child’s behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren’t around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself.”
“But you can’t micromanage your child,” Steinberg tells WebMD. “Once they’re in middle school, you need let the child do their own homework, make their own choices, and not intervene.”
6. Foster your child’s independence. “Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she’s going to need both.”
It is normal for children to push for autonomy, says Steinberg. “Many parents mistakenly equate their child’s independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else.”
5. Establish and set rules. “If you don’t manage your child’s behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren’t around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself.”
“But you can’t micromanage your child,” Steinberg tells WebMD. “Once they’re in middle school, you need let the child do their own homework, make their own choices, and not intervene.”
6. Foster your child’s independence. “Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she’s going to need both.”
It is normal for children to push for autonomy, says Steinberg. “Many parents mistakenly equate their child’s independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else.”
7. Be consistent. “If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child’s misbehavior is your fault, not his. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.”
Many parents have problems being consistent, Steinberg tells WebMD. “When parents aren’t consistent, children get confused. You have to force yourself to be more consistent.”
8. Avoid harsh discipline. Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances. “Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children,” he writes. “They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others.”
“There is a lot of evidence that spanking causes aggression in children, which can lead to relationship problems with other kids,” Steinberg tells WebMD. “There are many other ways to discipline a child, including ‘time out,’ which work better and do not involve aggression.”
9. Explain your rules and decisions. “Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to,” he writes. “Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn’t have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have.”
An example: A 6-year-old is very active and very smart — but blurts out answers in class, doesn’t give other kids a chance, and talks too much in class. His teacher needs to address the child behavior problem. He needs to talk to the child about it, says Steinberg. “Parents might want to meet with the teacher and develop a joint strategy. That child needs to learn to give other children a chance to answer questions.”
10. Treat your child with respect. “The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully,” Steinberg writes. “You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others.”
For example, if your child is a picky eater: “I personally don’t think parents should make a big deal about eating,” Steinberg tells WebMD. “Children develop food preferences. They often go through them in stages. You don’t want turn mealtimes into unpleasant occasions. Just don’t make the mistake of substituting unhealthy foods. If you don’t keep junk food in the house, they won’t eat it.”
Likewise, the checkout line tantrum can be avoided, says Natale. “Children respond very well to structure. You can’t go shopping without preparing them for it. Tell them, ‘We will be there 45 minutes. Mommy needs to buy this. Show them the list. If you don’t prepare them, they will get bored, tired, upset by the crowds of people.”
“Parents forget to consider the child, to respect the child,” Natale tells WebMD. “You work on your relationships with other adults, your friendships, your marriage, dating. But what about your relationship with your child? If you have a good relationship, and you’re really in tune with your child, that’s what really matters. Then none of this will be an issue.”
What traits do good parents have in common? Are there certain things that some people do that make them good parents (or not good parents)?
Of course, the characteristics of a good parent aren’t fixed or absolute. What may seem like good parenting to one person may not fit that definition for someone else. But generally speaking, these traits and habits can be found in parents who are practicing good parenting skills.
Practices of Good Parents
Every child is different and so is every parent, and every family has unique needs and circumstances. But most kids will benefit from parents who strive to provide care, attention, and unconditional love—but set expectations for behavior too.
Guide and Support, Not Push and Demand
Parents naturally want their kids to succeed and may push, prod, bribe, demand, or even threaten kids with punishment to get them to practice an instrument, excel at a sport, achieve top grades and so on. The fact is, being a strict “Tiger Mom” (or dad) isn’t likely to get your child further than giving kids lots of support, and gently nudging if and when they need it.
Let Kids Be Independent
Good parents know that it’s important for kids to do things for themselves. Whether it’s homework or chores or making friends, the best thing we can do as parents is get kids to a place where they can handle things on their own. However, it can be hard to tell how much we should help and how much we should let kids figure something out on their own.
For example, it’s not a good idea for parents to, say, do a child’s homework for them or hover over a play date and dictate exactly what the kids will play and how. Those are definite examples of helicoptering, not helping. But if you show a child how to work out a homework problem or settle a problem with a friend in a respectful way, you’re giving your child good tools for the future.
Remember, Kids Are Always Watching
Got a piece of juicy gossip you’re dying to share? Want to tell off a neighbor who did something rude or yell at a driver who cut you off? While we can’t always be perfect, good parents know that kids are always learning from the examples we set. If we want our children to be kind, empathetic, and well-mannered as they grow up, we must try to be on our own best behavior and be respectful of others.
Never Be Mean, Spiteful, or Unkind
Can a parent occasionally lose their temper or yell? Absolutely—we are human, after all. But insulting or humiliating or belittling a child are never, ever a good way to teach anything. Would you want to be treated that way?
Show Your Kids You Love Them
We can all get so busy, it’s easy to forget to take the time to show our kids how we feel about them. Small gestures, like writing a note for their lunchbox or sharing things about yourself with them can strengthen your connection and show your child how much you love them every day.
Apologize for Your Mistakes
You probably teach your kids to own up to things they did wrong by apologizing and trying to make up for what they did. This is just as, if not more, important for parents to do themselves.
Discipline Effectively
Discipline (not punishment) is not only one of the best things you can teach your kids but also a way to ensure that you are raising a child who will be happier as they grow. Why is it so important to discipline children? Kids who are not disciplined are much more likely to be spoiled, ungrateful, greedy, and, not surprisingly, have trouble making friends and being happy later in life.
See Your Child for Who They Are
Aim to see your child for who they are, not who you’re hoping they’ll become. Your child may be more of a quiet reader than someone who wants to be a star on the stage or a soccer field.
It’s great to encourage kids to try things that may push them out of their comfort zones. “You won’t know if you like it till you really give it a try” can sometimes apply, especially to kids who are still figuring out who they are and what they want.
But it’s important for parents to do a quick check and make sure they’re pushing kids for the right reasons (to try it, and not because the parent wants the child to be something they’re not).
Keep Track of Your Kids
Know what your child is doing and with whom. Who are your child’s friends? What are the parents of the child like? Who will your child encounter when they play at the friend’s house and are there guns in the home?
These and other questions to ask before a play date are not only crucial for your child’s safety but also an important way for you to keep track of what your child is experiencing and encountering when they are away from you.
Teach Kids to Be Good People
Teach kids to be kind, respectful toward others, be charitable, grateful for what they have, and have empathy for others. Of course, we all want our kids to strive to get good grades, win awards and accolades for music, sports, and other activities, and be successful later in life. However, who they are as a person is more important than which awards they get.
Connect With Your Child
Laugh together, spend time together, and connect positively every day. Whether it’s playing a board game, going for a bike ride, cooking, watching a movie, or reading a book together (or reading different books side-by-side, if your child is older), good parents consciously spend time having fun and connecting with their kids in small and large ways.
The best part: You’ll be also showing your child how they can give you their undivided attention when you want to discuss something with them.
Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world — and the one for which you might feel the least prepared.
Here are nine child-rearing tips that can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.
1. Boosting Your Child’s Self-Esteem
Kids start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents’ eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else.
Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless.
Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” cause damage just as physical blows do.
Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don’t love their behavior.
2. Catch Kids Being Good
Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your kids on a given day? You may find yourself criticizing far more often than complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance, even if it was well-intentioned?
The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: “You made your bed without being asked — that’s terrific!” or “I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient.” These statements will do more to encourage good behavior over the long run than repeated scoldings.
Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards — your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are “growing” more of the behavior you would like to see.
3. Set Limits and Be Consistent With Your Discipline
Discipline is necessary for every household. The goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits you establish for them, but they need those limits to grow into responsible adults.
Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed.
You might want to have a system in place: one warning, followed by consequences such as a “time out” or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is failure to follow through with the consequences. You can’t discipline kids for talking back one day and ignore it the next. Being consistent teaches what you expect.
4. Make Time for Your Kids
It’s often difficult for parents and kids to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But there is probably nothing kids would like more. Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner. Kids who aren’t getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave because they’re sure to be noticed that way.
Many parents find it rewarding to schedule together time with their kids. Create a “special night” each week to be together and let your kids help decide how to spend the time. Look for other ways to connect — put a note or something special in your kid’s lunchbox.
Adolescents seem to need less undivided attention from their parents than younger kids. Because there are fewer windows of opportunity for parents and teens to get together, parents should do their best to be available when their teen does express a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and other events with your teen communicates caring and lets you get to know more about your child and his or her friends in important ways.
Don’t feel guilty if you’re a working parent. It is the many little things you do — making popcorn, playing cards, window shopping — that kids will remember.
5. Be a Good Role Model
Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you’re constantly being watched by your kids. Studies have shown that children who are hit usually have a role model for aggression at home.
Model the traits you wish to see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Exhibit unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you.
6. Make Communication a Priority
You can’t expect kids to do everything simply because you, as a parent, “say so.” They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we don’t take time to explain, kids will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.
Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child’s suggestions as well. Negotiate. Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.
7. Be Flexible and Willing to Adjust Your Parenting Style
If you often feel “let down” by your child’s behavior, perhaps you have unrealistic expectations. Parents who think in “shoulds” (for example, “My kid should be potty-trained by now”) might find it helpful to read up on the matter or to talk to other parents or child development specialists.
Kids’ environments have an effect on their behavior, so you might be able to change that behavior by changing the environment. If you find yourself constantly saying “no” to your 2-year-old, look for ways to alter your surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits. This will cause less frustration for both of you.
As your child changes, you’ll gradually have to change your parenting style. Chances are, what works with your child now won’t work as well in a year or two.
Teens tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to earn more independence. And seize every available moment to make a connection!
8. Show That Your Love Is Unconditional
As a parent, you’re responsible for correcting and guiding your kids. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it.
When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which undermine self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining your kids. Make sure they know that although you want and expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.
9. Know Your Own Needs and Limitations as a Parent
Face it — you are an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader. Recognize your abilities — “I am loving and dedicated.” Vow to work on your weaknesses — “I need to be more consistent with discipline.” Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your spouse, and your kids. You don’t have to have all the answers — be forgiving of yourself.
And try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Admit it when you’re burned out. Take time out from parenting to do things that will make you happy as a person (or as a couple).
Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.Many of us know an older person with a serious illness or an ongoing health problem. In fact, half of all adult Americans have at least one chronic condition for which they need help from a caregiver, family member, or friend. If you’ve wondered how to show an older person that you care or how you can help them, here are some tips on how to be the best “care coach” or “care champion” you can be.
Build Confidence
Help the person you’re caring for strengthen their confidence that they can get through their treatment. Support them in believing that they’ll benefit by undergoing the treatment or rehabilitation, as difficult as it can be at times.
Start with Small Steps
For example, encourage someone dealing with chemotherapy to take just a few sips of water or soup so they get needed fluids, even when nausea or lack of appetite makes it difficult. If they have had a stroke or other mobility problem, help them take just a few steps, with the ultimate goal of getting to the bathroom.
Provide Repeated Encouragement
Tell them that they can eat some soup or take that short walk to the bathroom, and continue to reinforce the idea. Your encouragement should be realistic and repetitive.
Remember their Successes
Even when they feel that it’s impossible to eat any soup or take any steps today, remind them gently that they did it yesterday and can do it again today.
Exercise Compassion
When the person you’re caring for is going through chemotherapy or other difficult treatment, sometimes the best way to help is to just sit and talk with them during their treatment—that helps take their mind off the process. Or take them out for a milkshake when that’s all they can eat. For someone who has had a stroke, help them manage their fear of falling by supporting them when they get up from a wheelchair.
Avoid Useless Gestures
Try not to say things like “let me know if I can do anything” or “call me if there is anything I can do.” When someone is sick, they’re unlikely to ask for help. Take the initiative to provide concrete help.
Don’t Hesitate to Act
Never be afraid to just DO or SAY something. Don’t avoid getting in touch with someone to let them know you’ve heard about their illness. Don’t hesitate because you’re afraid you’re intruding on the person’s privacy. If you heard about their illness, it is no secret. Never fear calling or sending an email or a card. Show you care in any and every way. You’ll know by their response if it helps. Social support is critical to building their confidence and helping them get through their treatment or cope with an ongoing illness.
Offer Words of Encouragement
Think of things that may have helped you through difficult situations in the past and share them. This may be something as simple as sharing a favorite quote from a book that helped you put things in perspective or gave you hope in difficult times. Such words of encouragement can help the person you’re caring for cope with their own challenges in treatment. You can also share your experiences about things that have helped you be resilient and bounce back during challenging times.
Check-in Often to Show you Care
Check-in repeatedly with the person you’re caring for. Educate yourself about their illness and the course of treatment they face. Then call, email, or visit with them at times you know will be most difficult for them.
For example, with cancer treatment, the day of treatment may not be as hard as the days after, when the symptoms really hit. Find out their treatment schedule and check in with them then.
Take Care of Yourself
When you become a caring coach, the first and most important step is for you to take care of yourself. You can’t possibly give support to someone else unless you’re strong yourself. Set limits if you need to and make sure to do the things that keep you happy and healthy.
Ask Questions about Care Procedures You Are Not Comfortable Doing
You may have to provide hands-on care that you are not comfortable doing such as giving someone an injection or taking care of a wound. Do not be afraid to ask questions of health care providers, even if you have been instructed previously on the procedure. Make sure you feel comfortable and confident so that this type of care does not cause you anxiety or stress.